So I’m talking about ghosting. If you’ve never heard of that before, that’s okay. It refers to cutting off contact with someone abruptly and with no warning or explanation. You basically vanish into thin air, like a ghost, and any attempts made by them to contact you for an explanation or closure are met with silence.1
The shit is gaining popularity because of online dating, where it’s easier than ever to just ignore people. Consider it an extension of blocking culture. It’s basically the easy way out. Some would say the chickenshit way out. For me, personally, it seems rude. But I also understand that there are cases where it makes sense. Maybe someone is harassing you, abusing you, etc.
A few thoughts in favor
You are not obligated to explain yourself to people. You are not obligated to put up with anybody’s shit. You’re not obligated to continue interacting with anybody. That’s the bottom line. No bullshit. So if you feel you need to take this approach, then by all means. Ghost away.
A few thoughts against
But let me propose a different alternative to you, about dealing with people. While you are not obligated to continue contact with anybody, consider that sometimes people are unaware of what they may have done wrong. I would argue that most of the time people are oblivious to the shit they do. They just do it. We humans are on autopilot. We are reactive creatures. We go where our emotions lead us to go. Etc.
I have often said that I do not know that I am wrong unless someone tells me so.
So why am I telling you this? Because telling people where they fucked up is really the best way for them to realize what they’re doing. It won’t work on some people. They cannot see themselves as fuckups. They cannot admit that they ever did anything wrong. To them, it always everyone else’s fault. Go ahead and ghost these people. *insert laughy emoji*
For everyone else, though, it’s probably the only way to know they made a mistake. Because we often don’t reflect, or have any self-awareness. We don’t know there’s a booger on our nose unless someone points it out. And even though it might embarrass you to have someone say that, you’re always grateful, aren’t you?
Because you would have had a booger on your nose all day.
That’s the thing with people, too. If they don’t know they’re doing a thing, and no one ever tells them, they keep on trucking. They continue to do that thing. And by ghosting them, you can probably bet that someone else will enjoy/endure what caused you to ghost that person. All the way down the line.
I say it’s worth a shot. Maybe you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe they’re actually really nice, but just not for you. I would argue that nice people deserve all the help they can get. Help them out a little. Give them an exit interview. Do the uncomfortable thing, they may just surprise you. They may even fix their behavior. And now you’ve just made the world a better place, and saved all the people down the line.
Let people know what they’ve done so they can at least be aware of it.
-Janden
Leave me a comment if you’ve struggled with this.
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https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-ghosting-5071864