FORTITUDE is your ability to endure. Hardship, discomfort, adversity, fear, doubt. Annoying assholes who won’t stop telling you their politics. Fortitude is about persevering in the face of sometimes overwhelming odds. It’s about not giving up. It is our constitution, our will power, our drive. Life is full of difficulty, and overcoming obstacles is something we must become accustomed to doing.
Fortitude is one of the four Cardinal Virtues. An apt phrase with regards to this is Nil desperandum, which is “never despair” in Latin. This is about inner strength, and fortitude comes in handy especially during times of emotional upheaval or turmoil. It’s about gritting our teeth and keeping our feet moving. It’s about having resolve to overcome whatever is troubling us, even when it seems like hope has forsaken us.
You’ve done this before.
There are two ways (among many) that are helpful for dealing with adversity. The first is recognizing that you have overcome adversity before. This time is no different. It may feel like the worst thing of our lives is happening to us in this moment, but prior to this, something else felt like the worst thing of our lives.
And yet here you are.
You made it through that, right? Assuming you are in the midst of the worst experience ever, you already made it through the worst experience the time before this, and the time before that. It’s easy to forget all the other things we’ve overcome when we are staring down the current monster, so the key is to remember that you’ve slain every monster up until now. You are already a champion, and you will slay this one, too.
Figure out how this is helping you.
The second trick is to look at adversity as an opportunity for progress. This can sound like bullshit a lot of the time when you’re in the throes of a shitty situation, but there are often things we miss. You must try to find the benefit in each hardship. Embrace each one for the chance it provides to learn or improve. Here is a quick story: there are times in every writer’s life when a substantial chunk of a story is lost to the ether. Something didn’t get saved. I’ve lost entire chapters, even half a story before to whatever gremlin is in charge of such mischief. I overcame the pain of loss by resolving to redo my work, only this time I would do it better than before. Then, when I look back on the experience, I am grateful for it having happened, because now I have something better than I did before.
Of course, not all hardship is like losing a chapter in a story. There are way worse things that can happen, but if you find a way to make the future an improved version, you won’t be tempted to wallow in the past. And it may help give you the push you need to get to that improved version.
Lost your job? Get one better than before. Lost your boyfriend/girlfriend? Find a better one than before. And so on and so forth. If these options aren’t applicable to your current situation, find what benefits there might be.
The past brought you here.
The other thing to remember is that all your previous moments led you to the here and now. All the good times, the unpleasant times. Each memory is a stroke of paint in your life’s mural. Some of the colors are ugly, some are vibrant, yet they all work together to form the whole. Look around you at all the things you are grateful for. Would you still have them without the sum of all your experiences?
Look for the benefits. They are always there, hidden beneath the rubble of the anguish. You just have to search for it. Find it, improve, and keep pressing forward. Resist the urge to give up. The higher the climb, the sweeter the roller coaster ride once you catch momentum.
-Janden
What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? How did that play out?
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